Racing. Scary as Hell.

It's true. Racing can be scary as all hell for so so so many reasons.

I have a race coming up this Satruday, and I'm straight up terrified. I'm running the Airport Challenge at Race the Runways. That means I'm running a 1 mile race, and following it up with a Half Marathon. I've run a zillion half marathons--this shouldn't be a huge deal.

But it feels that way.

I've trained up to 14 miles, and I have lots of 11, 10, 9, and 8 milers under my belt. But you know what? With this #$%^^&%$$# (pick your favorite swear word to fill in the blank) knee injury, my training's been totally spotty.

That said, my training's been a lot faster than usual, too.

Here's the bottom line...my race could be surprisingly amazing, horribly terrible, or anywhere in between.

So that was the bottom line, now here's the kicker...20ish people I know, love and coach will be there running the 5k. That means they'll finish before me and probably witness the whole unpredictable event. Hoo boy. High potential for ugliness, embarrassment, and an overall sense of wanting to die.

I've weighed my options, and here they are:

a) Race the mile and do the half marathon as an easy training run.
b) Race the mile and pace my girl Tara during her first half marathon.
c) Run the mile as a warm up and race the half marathon.
d) Tell everyone my knee still hurts (because it kind of does) and forget the whole thing.
e) Race both.

As much as it's my dead last choice, I've picked option e. (side note: typing that phrase just induced genuine dry heaving).

If I run like total and complete crap, so what. If I run super well and set a PR, so what. In the grand scheme of things, I'm a life long runner. Every race comes with different circumstances. Some races are ridiculously amazing, and some straight up blow.

One time, I was the 6th place overall woman in a marathon. Another time, I dropped out at mile 20 and took the quitter bus to the finish line. Really, I survived both and I'm just plain old me.

So I'll give it my best and see what happens. Either way, I hope I'm a good example to everyone who trains at Kennebec Valley Coaching.

Some days you have it some days you don't. Either way, you just freaking keep on trying.